Rock Bottom is a Solid Foundation

I have officially hit rock bottom.  I am obese.  I am a single mother.  I currently live with my parents.  I have no job.  And now I have no car.  Seriously, I am having a hard time staying at all positive at this point.  If I haven't reached rock bottom then I am terrified of what that would look like. 

I thought I had reached rock bottom several weeks ago, but I hadn't.  I then applied for a job I desperately wanted and would of been fantastic at, found out today the position has been filled.  Today is also the day my Jeep was taken away.  I used to have a car, it was my car, I had it long before my daughter.  I took good care of my car, it was the perfect size for me and my daughter, plus it was reliable.  Upon, moving in with my family they had me sell the car and gave me my brother's old Jeep.  I got over having to get rid of my car because I had the Jeep to drive.  This week they sold the Jeep.  With the Jeep gone I've now lost the freedom that comes with having your own car, I might as well be sixteen again.  Although at sixteen I had my own car, at 29 I don't.  I have actually regressed in life.  I am trying not to be so angry about it, but I just feel so out of control in my life.  I had no say in my car getting sold and then obviously none about the Jeep.  I feel like I have no control over anything in my life at this point.

I will continue to apply for a job until I land one, but all I can do is apply I have no control over if I will ever land an interview.  I feel living with my family is the best thing for my daughter but I am not sure it is the best thing for me since I constantly learn how little my opinions/feelings matter and how little control I have because it is not my house.  I also cannot keep up after this giant house to the level I would like so I loose control of the tidiness of the home.  It really upsets me not to have a clean and tidy house where everything has a place and everything is in it's place.  I don't have much I can take control of, but one thing I think I can take control of is my weight.

I need to feel like I have some control over something in my life before I fall apart so changing my health is what I will be focusing on.  Hopefully along the way I will pick up some of the self-esteem I have lost and some of the other missing pieces in my life will fall into place.